THE FUNNIES (1) washing off hippies
I used to
when it rained; then I realized that it's God's way of washing off hippies.
+++ Swimming is a confusing sport, because sometimes you do it for fun, and other times you do it
+++ My plumbing is all
. Turns out I do not own a garbage disposal.
+++ If you
a spoon from a ladle, that's when you're officially fat.
+++ The plastic knife is perfect
you want to make some tiny marks on your food and
at the same time.
+++ I think statues are great; they show what great people would look like
all over them.
+++ I wanna make a jigsaw puzzle that's 40,000 pieces. And when you finish it, it says '
+++ Probably the worst time to have a heart attack is during a
+++ I was on the street. This guy waved to me, and he came up to me and said, I'm sorry, I thought you were
. And I said, I am.
+++ If I had a bookstore, I would make all the mystery novels
+++ I think one of the most
of all time is the jackhammer.
+++ The digital camera is a great invention because it allows us to
+++ Automatic paper towel dispensers are a solution to something that was never a problem
+++ I think they should
on the fronts of trains, so that when they hit something, it's at least a little bit funny.