Oh This Wedding (1-1) Love Is For Suckers

Last weekend, my friends Josh and Heather got married. Now, let me make one thing clear right now: Love is for . Jim Anchower's a free spirit. I can't let a woman me back. You'll never see me walking that aisle except as best man. Sorry to disappoint you, ladies, but that's just how it is.

Now, don't get me wrong, I'll still go to other weddings. I mean, I'd be stupid to out on a free meal and all that , right? Hell, at this one wedding last year, I drank a whole pony and ate a plate of sliced ham all by myself. That's what I'm anyway. My memories of that day are kind of . I don't think I even knew whose wedding it was, to be .

Anyway, there's things you gotta watch out for when it to weddings. Clothes, for instance. You gotta dress to make it look like you , you know. You do that by wearing something that says, "I'm happy for you guys," and it doesn't matter if you actually are or not.